Freaking out is as natural as taking a shit - just as necessary and similar a function I think.

Yeah, reality poses some interesting questions of what you want, wanted and what you've got. The only thing that changes is desire. You've really got to beat yourself into a lot of submission to give up the "wanna" - and especially then you're never happy with it - stuck with internally explaining over and over excuses in hopes of turning them into reason for permanent burial. I've never been able to do it successfully.
Even if it only exists in the "wanna" - let it. That's nice. It's not dead.
Reality and desire coexist somewhere in there, silly. Let them. There's room for all of it.
Movies, acting, writing, composing, playing, learning, joking, it's all gonna hang out until you sign the resignation.
So let's...
Whether we do or not - let's!

Step back, honey -
give your own fro a big ole slap

and keep on truckin!

(That's what that means, baby)