Well, 32 looks about the same as 31 for those of you who don't know yet.
It is the time of year I go home.
This is the first year that I won't be going alone.
I knew at 30 and two weeks after visiting SLC that he would be going eventually. It's a strange trip to share just as everything has been up to this point.
The week of the 4th is a time of relaxation and reflection.
Good timing for both of us. Every single facet of life outside of our relationship is shifting dramatically and our minds and backs are cracking.
Even if I land empty handed, it will be nice to go home.
Everything that has somehow turned into MY job to make happen in Vegas, can fucking kiss my ass while they stay the FUCK in VEGAS!
Thank you, try the veal buffet, ... and then fucking shoot me.

If I don't perform soon, I'm going to go crazy.
It would actually sound frivolous in most cases when I say that all things not me, Joel or comedy, I instantly harbor immense resentment toward, but not these times. These are truly the blurst of times for even the stupidest monkey, especially chickee monkeys. I keep teetering between determination, ambition, happiness, and fear on the interior while dealing with an increasingly excruciating work situation.
Change is forcing itself and I know that, but don't have to know me well to know my weaknesses. True malice is a better reason to challenge someone's intellect than for just the mere sport of misogyny.

I think I will take the day off and get laid.
Or I'll go in and kill some coworkers and then come home early and get laid.
Hell, I'm losing my youth and no better reason to demand attention than on your own personal New Year!
Either way somebody's gonna be screamin' whether I have company or not.
Cheers everyone!
Have fun today, for me, DAMMIT!
Yes, that's right I'm not afraid to threaten you with a good time,
so go fuck yourselves
and we'll miss you in Myrtle.

Love to all
younger or not
time to go home

It's a little difficult to go back and express accurately the wedding.
As I daily hear more hilarious and weird stories of what other people experienced that day, I feel I missed most of what was going on.
Even the professional pictures leave a bit to be desired...
https://shop.cashmanpro.com/
username: jwayman2
password: 1164

(everything's listed under the groom's name strangely - I didn't change my name, and booked, signed, and paid for them...anyway)

It was beautiful and fun, and we have about 30 cameras that will tell more tales than I'm sure we should be able to eventually afford to find out.

I will continue blogging more and at length, but just needed to at least say SOMETHING that wasn't yet another unfinished post stuck in 'draft' land forever.
My life is enjoying playing the sick joke of 'and you thought things would calm down after the wedding', so's I gotta take the insomnia as it blesses.

Lots more to say, to gush, and many to thank.
But that's for soon blogged.

Tom, you are a little bitch.
If getting slapped like one is why I don't know your plans, you betta hide muthafucka.

Old blog but with the above post was going to the archives.
Just wanted to put in my 2 cents of revision before it's gone.
They were orchids.
Some of you may have worn one.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Today Deanne fell.
Again.
Joel surprised me at the office with beautiful pink and white irises.
They matched my eyes.
I still oft am asked how can one be absolute they'd want to be with one person for the rest of their lives. It's near impossible to explain it to anyone who hasn't experienced it - doesn't make sense objectively.

He knows more about my own strength than I do.
I have been trying, but for Joel, I will succeed.
He is why I care where I land.
Thank you, Joel.
I love you, too.