Ah, drinking and blogging...
I’ve learned something tonight
Love yourself, yes – but please pay attention to the people that love you – fantasy is always bullshit – just as I have said to some with discontented long distance relationships or myself with passed loved ones– you create what they are in their absence—I’ve done it many times.
Your memory IS their absence . You love them for what you remember and create from that- but they are…. –

Look at who is there – when something fucked up happens – who is there – who do you tell – whatever that is – whoever that is – is - … is love – whatever you turn to is love – whatever or whoever you see there listening – is love –
The mere mention of something out of the ordinary - he’s on it – and fine with it– I can’t deny that-
I’d be stupid not to-
I’m not saying I don’t still have issues, but the fact that –
you are the person
I talk to every time, every fucking time.
Every time… anything.